Rage within me

In this state that I am, I seem to have this endless lust for rage, in all my years I've tried to control it, but, control over something you cannot see is like trying to breath under water with out gills it's possible but yet so hard. So this is my story. 

It all started the day I got challenged a one on one game fight, now I'm not one to turn down a challenge, but when it's against I never wanna fight for being a serious gammer makes me take myself out if my zone and place me in the game and when a lost occurs the rage comes out and destruction must I do. Numerous of times I've tried to keep this rage under control but, to no success have i accomplished. Their where times where I would just lye awake thinking of what makes it tic and how to stop the ticking from continuing but, I just can't I was always told you can do anything you put your mind to but if your mind is the one causing the problem how do you put your mind to stop it, still unanswered questions. I listen to music in hope to drown it out but, another fail I write another fail. So now what I think. And I hear it, another fail. I'm so tired of the fails I just want to accomplish and to accomplish I must know and to know I must understand and to understand I must except and to except I must believe and to believe I must trust and to trust I must know that threw all the good I am I will always have that darker side to me lurking raging within me waiting to burst out and run a muck and when it does I must except that its gonna happen and if t happens I must learn to get around it and if I can learn to get around it I can learn to be happy after I get out of it so to the rage'ers  and stressors the depressed and sad fear not of what you do for it is just a part of you in which no one else would understand and for that I call you special. 

Dreams

3 days before the full moon i would see a new face one who would partake of the peach and give on to them youth and beauty. But, this effect would not last long, within a short month time they would revert back to there natural look. So every month 3 days before the full moon's rising they're would be a New face one who would give them this youth and beauty they so desired. I was but a young stray when they had took me in, at first they seemed kind and sweet. I believed that they where as innocent as a delicate flower blooming on a hot summer day. But, to my eyes have have deceived me, what I have I been brought en into, who are they? No answers. I would be feed properly taken care of but, still those poor girls I wanted so much to help them. But, to betray the ones who gave me shelter and food would a punishment of the ages. So I sit and watch as they continue you to bring new faces to our home. In till she came that's when it all changed.

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                                       The Moon Reveals Secrets Hidden In The Dark                                        

It's another month just as every month before it, at least that's what I thought it would be, till she came. She was scared but calm, she was crying but not screaming. Who is she why am i so intrigued by her. Curse me for my curiosity but, I must know who this girl is. Hey there where did you come from. My heart stopped, her voice echoed threw me as the sound of a beautiful song bird in which I love to eat, hey I am a cat can you blame me. I squeeze threw there bars only to rid me of my curiosity. I crept up to her she looked at me her eyes shined like the moon on a clear night sky and her smile as bright as the morning sun rising to start a new day. I sit before her she pets me. Where did they take you from? I asked her. But, she did not respond in staid looked at me with shock. For a moment I wonder why is she was looking at me like that till she spoke. You can talk?.... Yes quite well actually, don't all cats talk? No... They don't are you a witch? What's a witch? We both starred into each others eyes. And before i can continue to rid curiosity i heard doors unlocking.There coming. I flee from her cage and hide. Please don't leave me. I look back at her, don't eat the peach. No matter what they tell you don't eat it or you'll die...

Hello my dear, such beauty beholds you. Thank you mam but, please I would like to go home. Now now my dear patience. First you must do something for us and home shall be your reward. What is it I must do then. Partake of the peach. Peaches make me sick i cannot eat it. Just a tiny bite shall do no harm. Please mam i cannot. Then I guess you don't want to go home. PLEASE yes I just wanna go home. Then you shall partake of this peach or forever be within this cage never to see your home or family again. The door slams and I hear her crying. Please don't cry. How can i not, i just wanna go home. Where is home? Ky'ron. Across the high mountains and pass the rivers edge lies a small town called Ky'ron. But, how do i know this. You know of my home. I don't know i just do. Sofia. What? My name, my name is Sofia of Ky'ron and you. Sofia such a beautiful name. But, i don't have a name. So we should give you one, can't go around being nameless now. How about Solomon. Solomon that name it sounds familiar why do i feel like i know it. So what do you think do you like it. Yes i do, thank you but, if i may ask why that name. You remind me of a childhood friend i once had, his name was Solomon.Well i like it. If i may ask another question, what are witches? There the ones who took me. Did you not know all this time you've been with them. She starts to cry again, What do i say? I'm going to get you out i promise. WHAT!? What am I thinking I can't do that I would be betraying the ones who took me in. Its suicide i cant. But, then why cant i remember being a small stray all my life i have been told of this and yet i don't remember it. I go to see what the witches, as Sofia calls them.What am I to do and why does Sofia stand out from the rest. All I know is I must get her out.
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                                               Even Darkness Can Bear New Life                                              

It is the night of the rising moon and she has yet to partake of the peach and we don't have time to find another girl. Calm your self now Melody we shall make her partake of the peach. But, Jessie if she does not partake of the peach by sun set we will grow old and wither away. No my sister we shall not, we shall have beauty and youth if i have to ripe it from her myself. Yes sister Morgana.

Morgana,Melody&Jessie triplets who where born of darkness, where they came from would forever be unknown, but to my knowledge they are as dark and cruel as can be. There you are kitty, have you seen our new friend that has come home to play with us. Solomon. what was that now. she gave me a name its Solomon. OH! So you have seen her. you wouldn't happen to warn her about the peach now would you because if so then. No of course not why would i betray my kind and carrying masters who have shelter and feed me so very long. Morgana stares in to my eyes almost as if shes trying to see in to my soul. Makes me glad I'm a cat. wait that look why have i seen that look before. So Solomon... I guess the name suits you, says Melody as she picks me up to sit me on her lap. what was that? Was a it a memory a flash back? But, how could this be I've been a cat all my life. You must get her to eat the peach she seems to trust you Solomon. I don't think shes going to eat it, i mean she said it makes her sick did she not.  Yes she did, but how would you know unless you where in the room. I tried to run but, melody holds me tight. I heard you all talking when i was out side chasing the song birds. I must not give them any reason to think i am a traitor if i am to get Sofia out. Alright ill do it ill get her to eat it. Good boy i knew i can count on you to do what needs to be done. Now well be back we must gather more ingredients before the rising of the moon by the time we arrive she should of partaken of the peach, correct Solomon? Yes Morgana i will do as you ask.
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                                 It Is Not Darkness That Is Evil But What Dwells Within It                                

Wake up, Sofia GET UP NOW! What whats going on. We must get you out now. I manged to get the keys while there gone let us escape. We have to get to the mountains before they realize your gone. But, how i don't even know how they got me here to begin with.... Shes right even i have never seen the power they behold they always keep it secret from me as if..... Wait my sister. Your what? I had a sister and they took her away i followed them and they turned me... turned you into a cat... yes but how did you know unless... typical human you would believe any woman who would show you kindness. Sofia? NO WAIT!

What? was i just dreaming what the hell. Crazy dream. Meow! Hey Alex did sleep much either did you. I had this crazy dream about witches and talking cats. Maybe i should write it into a story. But, Why does it all seem so real .................
 

The Secret Child

I've looked for you for so long. Their where times where I thought I was crazy because I didn't think you where real. But, your here, things will be different well never be apart again. What's wrong? Why are you so quite?  What are you doing? Stop! NO!

What's that noise... Is it morning already... I Couldn't sleep. I was up crying again. The Pains, they wouldn't stop...Wheres my pills..... Since I was a kid I would catch myself crying but, it was weird it didn't feel as if I was crying for myself almost as if I was crying for another. Then the pains as if I was banging the back of my head into a wall it hurt but, i took medication to help calm the headaches i got from it. But,even meds have their limits. Dr.Guzman the man who's been working with me and giving me the medication could not figure out why this has been happening. He told me I was just an average healthy 17 year old and what i was going threw was common for teens my age who worked&study as hard as i did to succeed for their future. I couldn't argue with him, i was still in school my grades where up i was the captain of the football team, I didn't do drugs, I was always eating right. i had my whole life planned out. So why was this happening? I could never understand this but, sometimes I thought to myself (what if I was a twin?). I've asked Dr. Guzman about this, he stated that it was known for twins to feel one an other's emotions and pains. But, I was an only child. He should know he was the Doctor who help with my birth. And besides if i  was a twin why is he not with me? Why where we not raised together? For a while a i would run away to places i could get to, searching for someone i was unsure even existed. My mom would always bring me back telling me that i didn't have a twin she only had me and i should stop believing in things didn't exist. So now i just keep it to myself wondering if he's is out their,whats he going threw. Is he alone it feels that way.

Morning mom. Morning Jason, did you sleep well? No not really pains kept me up. Mom looked at me with hurt  in her eyes, your gonna be alright. Did Dr,Guzman raise the dosage on your medication? Yeah he did but, I don't think it's working. Well it was just raised so give it sometime. You hungry how about some French toast. No its OK, Cody's outside waiting for me. Alright honey, you have fun in school now and try not to over do it. I wont. Love you mom. Love you Jason.
CODY! JASON! My mans, hows our team captain feeling today. Tired didn't get that much sleep last night. Pains got you up all night again bro? As always but, nothing i cant shake off with some practice. Yeah that's what I'm talking about. On our way to school i start to think, maybe i can try and find him. But, if i do where do i go where do i look. The day passes couldn't even go to game practice. I cant stop thinking I need to try and find him. That night while laying in my bed i start crying and my head it wont stop hurting. I went to go for my medication when something came to my mind, a memory something i haven't remembered in so long. Its him where kids and hes being taking away, no wait. I wake up and its morning was i just dreaming. I look my pills are spilt on the floor, guess i didn't take any meds last night. Could my meds be making me forget him?

Morning Jason, Jason are you alright honey? Mom do i have a twin brother. Mom looks as if she seen a ghost. No we've spoken about this before you don't have a brother. have you taken your meds you know if you don't take them your going to have those headaches. Yeah i took them, well I'm going to go out ill be back later. Alright don't come back home to late now. I wont. that was the last time i seen her.




To Be Continued..........

Voices inside my head

Can anyone hear me, please im right here, anyone. Someone, the voices get louder and i go deeper in the darkness falling faster and louder. No one can save me no one will see me, i am alone. forever to remember that day.

I'm telling you I'm not crazy bro, I heard a kid screaming. And then what? Cory looks at me with confusion. Then she just stops.Well ima roll a blunt so you can calm down cause you look alil shaken up. Wake Up Jay. What?! Did you hear that? Nah I didn't hear anything, Wake Up Jay. I need to go upstairs my head hurts. Alright ill come up in a sec you alright though. Yeah I'm fine ill be fine. I get into the hall head hurts more i get to my stairs and a flash comes before me, i stop (Wake Up Jay) i hear screaming then it stops. I open my door and my cats are meowing as always I lay in my bed. I close my eyes and I begin to fall Into a deep sleep.Wake Up Jay. Who are you? Wake Up Jay, you have to wake up.

Jay! (Cory's knocking on the door) My eyes open I get up and open the door. You wanna smoke? Yeah.... What wrong your all sweaty and shit, just got out of this crazy dream. Word wanna talk about it. Smoke fills my room it's calming me I don't hear anything. Nah i rather not. Well Just do me a favor, whats that? Wake Up Jay. What? what are you talking about Cory? I said take it easy OK. Oh yeah thanx. Well im about to head back down stairs if you need anything let me know. OK. I watch Cory leave. I hear the door close. I lay back down to sleep. NO! WAKE UP JAY! No it's happening again! Wake up from where whose there. I start to move around house going threw each room still nothing no one is here so where is this voice coming from. The lights go out. Oh no please no, my heart starts to race. Something just moved what's going on. Who's there!? Leave me alone! My door unlocks I grab a blunt object. Jay?! It's Pito. Yeah, I'm here. What happen to the lights? I don't know properly blew out. Ima check down stairs see whats going on. Alright ill be up here. Just do me a favor. What? Just wake up. WHAT?! I said tell Cedrick to come up. My head starts racing i feel woozy I start to go  down the stairs to go to the basement to the circuit breaker. I fall there's the screaming again, wait why does my head hurt.

I hear voices so many voices, theres lights i can see lights, im in a hospital, what happen. Cory explains that i feel down the stairs and Pito ran down with the light on his phone, Rachel came out and started screaming trying to wake you up hearing her scream he came running up. We tried everyday to get you to wake up Jay. Tha...... before i could even finish i feel the darkness coming back. whats going on CORY! somebody please no i don't wanna be hear anymore. But all there was me the darkness and the Voices inside my head

                              

The door behind dreams

It is said that when you sleep your soul leaves your body and travels and when it comes back you feel as if you never slept. but, sometimes if you go to far you may never return.

Every night before bed mama would tell me story's of a world in your dreams where the children will all go to be what ever they wanted to be, from a Knight in Armor or an Astronaut out in space.

But,mama, also told me not to go past any doors cause they would take me to the bad place and if i go to the bad place I will never see her again. 

When i closed my eyes and started to dream I would dream i was going to my special place, where dragons would fly and, cats could talk. But, there was always that door, it looked so cool I didn't think a peak would do harm but, i was wrong. I foolishly open the door ignoring the fact that mama told me not to, i mean hey i was a kid. As i opened the door the clouds started to change everything started to smell funny it got so cold the dragons started to disappear the cats started hissing There's, someone here, I'm scared, I closed the door but, when I turned there was a boy standing there starring at me. Hi! How you doing? Why is he just still standing there? I was feeling scared is that blood I said to myself but, this is a dream and mama always said dreams can't hurt you and if you ever feel scared wanna wake up close your eyes and count to 5 and when you reopen you will be back I your room. So I closed my eyes and counted to 5 but, when I reopened the boy was now in front of me now he was shaking and his eyes where scary I closed my eyes again and counted 1,2,3... I heard the door open 4,... I reopen my eyes, what wait no , I'm in the bad place I'm behind the door  mama, please no I'm sorry, the door closes. 5 years later mama still tells me the story still tells me to stay away from the door, and when I see her I scream begging for her to hear me, because he is now me and I am behind the door behind the dreams.....

"Silence"

I can hear her, shes keeps calling my name, i can hear her walking up the stairs. Why, did we have to come into this abandoned hotel for. Maybe if i close my eyes and ignore her she'll just leave.

Timmy, i know your awake Timmy. My eyes open at the sound of her voice, my heart starts rushing hearing her clime the stairs shes getting closer and I'm on the 6th floor. WHAT DO I DO?, MOM!.
What are you screaming for, mom mom theirs something out in the hall. I watch mom go in the hall, everything is quite its dark. Mom walks back in, theirs nothing out there, so go to sleep I'm right in the next room. Maybe shes right its properly just my mind playing tricks on me. An Hour passes I'm still not asleep, whats that noise, i get up and go into the hall i look down the stairs. Oh no, no no no, there she is, shes on the second floor, Timmy Timmy,  I'm coming for you Timmy, how does she know my name, what does she want with me. I run back in my room and close the door, i grab sheets in hopes to make a rope to escape. Timmy I'm on the third floor, I'm getting closer, my hearts rushes even faster as i tied the sheets, then i realize my mom shes still in the next room. I open the door to go to my moms room, Timmy she cant help you Timmy, I'm on the fourth floor Timmy. i re shut the door and finish tying the sheets but when i open the window. Timmy I'm outside your door I'm coming in Timmy, my heart starts racing i cant breath tears are falling down my face, i hear the door open, shes inside what do i do now, Timmy what are you doing with those sheets, i take a deep breath, its mom she must of heard me moving around so she came to check on me, i turn around AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Morning time comes, Timmy are you awake its time for us to go Timmy, mom walks into my room only to see me on the ceiling, on the bed in the closet, i was every where, she runs out screaming only to see her, her standing there, shes holding something, mom walks up to her, hello Hello, I told you mom i told you there was something in the hall, she holds my head up towrd's my mom and laughs, you should of listened to me mom, Mom screams and then........ Silence