Monday, July 22, 2013

The Secret Child

I've looked for you for so long. Their where times where I thought I was crazy because I didn't think you where real. But, your here, things will be different well never be apart again. What's wrong? Why are you so quite?  What are you doing? Stop! NO!

What's that noise... Is it morning already... I Couldn't sleep. I was up crying again. The Pains, they wouldn't stop...Wheres my pills..... Since I was a kid I would catch myself crying but, it was weird it didn't feel as if I was crying for myself almost as if I was crying for another. Then the pains as if I was banging the back of my head into a wall it hurt but, i took medication to help calm the headaches i got from it. But,even meds have their limits. Dr.Guzman the man who's been working with me and giving me the medication could not figure out why this has been happening. He told me I was just an average healthy 17 year old and what i was going threw was common for teens my age who worked&study as hard as i did to succeed for their future. I couldn't argue with him, i was still in school my grades where up i was the captain of the football team, I didn't do drugs, I was always eating right. i had my whole life planned out. So why was this happening? I could never understand this but, sometimes I thought to myself (what if I was a twin?). I've asked Dr. Guzman about this, he stated that it was known for twins to feel one an other's emotions and pains. But, I was an only child. He should know he was the Doctor who help with my birth. And besides if i  was a twin why is he not with me? Why where we not raised together? For a while a i would run away to places i could get to, searching for someone i was unsure even existed. My mom would always bring me back telling me that i didn't have a twin she only had me and i should stop believing in things didn't exist. So now i just keep it to myself wondering if he's is out their,whats he going threw. Is he alone it feels that way.

Morning mom. Morning Jason, did you sleep well? No not really pains kept me up. Mom looked at me with hurt  in her eyes, your gonna be alright. Did Dr,Guzman raise the dosage on your medication? Yeah he did but, I don't think it's working. Well it was just raised so give it sometime. You hungry how about some French toast. No its OK, Cody's outside waiting for me. Alright honey, you have fun in school now and try not to over do it. I wont. Love you mom. Love you Jason.
CODY! JASON! My mans, hows our team captain feeling today. Tired didn't get that much sleep last night. Pains got you up all night again bro? As always but, nothing i cant shake off with some practice. Yeah that's what I'm talking about. On our way to school i start to think, maybe i can try and find him. But, if i do where do i go where do i look. The day passes couldn't even go to game practice. I cant stop thinking I need to try and find him. That night while laying in my bed i start crying and my head it wont stop hurting. I went to go for my medication when something came to my mind, a memory something i haven't remembered in so long. Its him where kids and hes being taking away, no wait. I wake up and its morning was i just dreaming. I look my pills are spilt on the floor, guess i didn't take any meds last night. Could my meds be making me forget him?

Morning Jason, Jason are you alright honey? Mom do i have a twin brother. Mom looks as if she seen a ghost. No we've spoken about this before you don't have a brother. have you taken your meds you know if you don't take them your going to have those headaches. Yeah i took them, well I'm going to go out ill be back later. Alright don't come back home to late now. I wont. that was the last time i seen her.

To Be Continued..........

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